Uglykidjones: Rants and Raves

Apparently, very.

The pic above is from the latest issue of Vanity Fair magazine, which is pretty much self-explanatory. If I were Bruce Willis, I’d probably snag Ashton Kutcher in the mouth with my fishing hook and throw him overboard for snuggling with Demi Moore. But that’s just me, and probably 90% of the world’s hot-blooded and sort of conservative Pinoy male population. Obviously, Bruce is pretty cool with it. Maybe it’s the bald head, which surely could make use of the services of New Jersey hair loss clinics.

A poll by a British magazine may have picked Elizabeth Hurley as the having the best body in Britain. But you seriously can’t take a survey that places Victoria Beckham and her oversized tennis balls she calls her breasts second on its list seriously, can you?

Because as far as I’m concerned, the best/hottest/whatever British body today belongs to none other than Page 3 girl Keeley Hazell. Don’t know her? Check out these pics from the May 2007 issue of FHM UK and get to know this Brit babe more.

And oh, in case you’ve been living under a rock these past few months, she is a member of the celebrity sex tapes club. Her jerkoff of a former boyfriend released to the public a video of him and Keeley doing the nasty when she was just 18 or 19. The video is no longer available online though because Keeley filed suit, but I have seen the vid and it is nasty. 

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Unlike her kid sis, Jessica Simpson won’t be lining up any time soon for a rhinoplasty in Orlando or wherever it is she and current boyfriend John Mayer hie off to.

The 26-year-old says, "I don’t know if it’s my best, but my favourite feature is my nose. I have a bump on it that I love. It’s an imperfection, but that’s why I love it." [Source]

As reported by many blogs last month, Beyonce and Shakira, Shakira have collaborated on a song called “Beautiful Liar”. And of course, no Beyonce-Shakira teamup would be complete without a music video. The song after all, sucks, so what  better way to make up for that suckiness by featuring singers whose ass-shaking is way better than their singing?

Click here to watch two of the sexiest women in the music industry shake their booties. And believe me, their hips don’t lie. Now there’s two ladies who certainly don’t need any of that plastic surgery Naples, FL cosmetic surgeons can do. Perhaps next year.

If there’s one Jersey girl who doesn’t really need a New Jersey face lift, it has to be American Idol finalist Antonella Barba. Who needs one when all eyes are on her barely clothed body in rather cheesy poses?

Should she be eliminated from American Idol tomorrow, this Jersey girl can always pursue a career in modeling for guy mags. She may not be that hot, but she is HOT nowadays, if you know what I mean. And that would sell a lot of magazines.

Check out more Antonella Barba pics.

Few newcomers have been as lucky as American Idol finalist Jennifer Hudson.

She has already won all sorts of accolades for her performance as Effie White in "Dreamgirls", her very first movie, but it seems the full-figured singer and actress is just warming up.

As if the Golden Globes, the SAG Award and the BAFTA she won for supporting actress weren’t enough, here she is making history as the first Afrcan-American singer to ever appear on the cover of Vogue, that US bible of fashion.

The Dreamgirls star lives out a lot of little girls’ dreams posing for Annie Leibovitz in gowns by Carolina Herrera and J. Mendel. The accompanying story by Vogue’s Andre Leon Talley, who has been styling Hudson this awards season, talks about her visits to Vera Wang and Oscar de la Renta fitting rooms. 

Sure, she’s one extremely talented gal, but she has got to have some sort of four-leaf clover or horseshoe in her pocket, because no one has achieved this much after one only one movie.