Uglykidjones: Rants and Raves

Heath Ledger is dead. He was 28.

The Oscar-nominated actor’s body was discovered Tuesday afternoon in a New York apartment by a housekeeper and a masseuse, who had an appointment with Ledger. When no one answered the door, the masseuse sought the help of a housekeeper, who opened the door and found the actor unconscious, with pills nearby. An ambulance was called, and paramedics tried to revive Ledger but failed.

The cause of death is yet to be determined.

He leaves behind daughter Matilda, who he had with former partner Michelle Williams. 

Tch. What a waste. 

Jessica Alba is pregnant with boyriend Cash Warren’s baby. This isn’t just some rumor. Her publicist confirmed it to People. My life is over.

I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer,” says rep Brad Cafarelli.

Alba, 26, has dated Warren, 28, since the fall of 2004 after they met on the set of The Fantastic Four, on which Warren was a director’s assistant.

The couple have been seen being affectionate together in Los Angeles in recent days, shopping for mattresses last Saturday and attending a Lakers game, where they were spotted kissing Sunday. 

Enough with the melodrama. Actually, the news that she’s knocked up is good news, because being pregnant means one thing: bigger boobs! That is something Jessica never had, and now she will.

Jessica Alba has one of the hottest bodies to hit Hollywood, ever. That is probably why learning that she’s not comfy at all about being tagged as sexy comes somewhat of a surprise.

The screen beauty - who recently topped FHM magazine’s annual 100 Sexiest Women in the World poll - insists she does not consciously flaunt her stunning figure because she doesn’t enjoy attracting attention.

The Sin City star - who has a strict no-nudity clause in her contract - says her prudish attitude is reflected in her choice of clothing. She said: "I have my own fashion style and do not try to fit in. I don’t have my breasts under my chin, I’m not showing butt cheeks, nor much legs. I don’t go for the trendiest look."

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Remember the Sharon Stone who fearlessly flashed her beaver and engaged in some of the hottest onscreen sex ever in the first Basic Instinct movie? You can forget about her. She doesn’t exist anymore.

What’s left is this woman who looks like she needs to be put in Philly senior homes anytime soon. Not as much as Melanie Griffith though, but close.

Val Kilmer better lay off the burgers, or he’s gonna need some liposuction in Beverly Hills, and fast!

The lady he’s walking with is kinda hot though. Is that his wife or something? 

Behold the hotness that is Melanie Griffith, the woman who Antonio Banderas swore to grow old with.

Apparently, she got there WAAAAAAY ahead of him. I don’t think even the best Atlanta plastic surgery available can do anything about this. It’s sad, really.

See more wrinkled Melanie Griffith pics here.

I find it quite annoying that talentless, spoiled, trashy, stupid and skanky people like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are the celebrities Blog posts everywhere in the world often feature. I mean, are they even real celebrities? They’re just famous for being famous, and that’s pretty much what they are. So they made celebrity sex tapes. Big deal. They both suck anyway, no pun intended. So what’s with the high-profile presence in the gossip blogging world?

Simple: it’s their trashiness, their sluttiness and of course, their stupidity that sells. For such blogs, the trashier the better. Everyone knows that sex sells, and these two are practically poster girls for it. As long as there are Kim Kardashians and Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans in showbiz, expect these gossip blogs to be in business for a very long time.

Apparently, very.

The pic above is from the latest issue of Vanity Fair magazine, which is pretty much self-explanatory. If I were Bruce Willis, I’d probably snag Ashton Kutcher in the mouth with my fishing hook and throw him overboard for snuggling with Demi Moore. But that’s just me, and probably 90% of the world’s hot-blooded and sort of conservative Pinoy male population. Obviously, Bruce is pretty cool with it. Maybe it’s the bald head, which surely could make use of the services of New Jersey hair loss clinics.

Tom Cruise bought this Beverly Hills mansion for just $35 million. The house sits on a 1.3-acre area, with seven bedrooms, nine bathrooms, a lenghty driveway, a tennis court and a pool.

$35 million is just some chump change for people like Cruise or Bill Gates or George Lindemann Jr, so no problem.

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Unlike her kid sis, Jessica Simpson won’t be lining up any time soon for a rhinoplasty in Orlando or wherever it is she and current boyfriend John Mayer hie off to.

The 26-year-old says, "I don’t know if it’s my best, but my favourite feature is my nose. I have a bump on it that I love. It’s an imperfection, but that’s why I love it." [Source]