Uglykidjones: Rants and Raves

 

Unlike her kid sis, Jessica Simpson won’t be lining up any time soon for a rhinoplasty in Orlando or wherever it is she and current boyfriend John Mayer hie off to.

The 26-year-old says, "I don’t know if it’s my best, but my favourite feature is my nose. I have a bump on it that I love. It’s an imperfection, but that’s why I love it." [Source]

Yeah right. Like anyone ever gives a rat’s ass about her nose. Very few people stare at her picture and make it all the way to the nose. Try it with the pic above and you’ll see.

 

 

As reported by many blogs last month, Beyonce and Shakira, Shakira have collaborated on a song called “Beautiful Liar”. And of course, no Beyonce-Shakira teamup would be complete without a music video. The song after all, sucks, so what  better way to make up for that suckiness by featuring singers whose ass-shaking is way better than their singing?

Click here to watch two of the sexiest women in the music industry shake their booties. And believe me, their hips don’t lie. Now there’s two ladies who certainly don’t need any of that plastic surgery Naples, FL cosmetic surgeons can do. Perhaps next year.

I used to like Teri Hatcher. I first saw her in the forgettable Kurt Russell-Sly Stallone starrer Tango & Cash, and she was unbelievably gorgeous there. The infatuation carried over to that rather corny Superman series with Dean Cain.

And just when she’s finally in a hit TV show which is oftentimes worth watching, she got old. I mean, just look at the pic above and tell me she doesn’t remind you of your grandmother.

I think it’s time for Teri to avail of the facelift Chicago or LA or New York or wherever plastic surgeons are offering.

And I thought only prostitutes turn Hugh Grant on.

British actor Hugh Grant said he’s not yet sure about his feelings about undergoing some Miami plastic surgery someday, but admitted that he thinks some of the plastic surgery he’s seen turns him on.

He says, "I’m ambivalent about it, although I feel sorry for a lot of these Beverly Hills wives who’ve had so much done that they look a little scary these days. "On the other hand, I’ve seen some plastic surgery that I’ve found rather strangely sexually attractive."[Source]

Actually, this is quite normal. A lot of guys even save up to buy their girlfriends a bigger set of boobs, or a new nose. Let’s just hope the sexually attractive plastic surgery Hugh was referring to wasn’t done on Tara Reid, or I would have to believe he’s a lot sicker than I thought.

Fashion agency bosses are evil.

Imagine what the fashion world would have been like if Cindy Crawford had been ultimately pressured by these bigwigs and had that trademark mole of hers surgically removed. Good thing Vogue was there to support Cindy, mole and all.

And she considered having it surgically removed after agency bosses suggested it would hinder her career. But when Vogue put her on the cover, blemishes and all, she decided the beauty spot should stay.

She recalls, "I think it was still ‘the jury is still out’, until I did my first Vogue cover and when Vogue put me on the cover without re-touching it, and that was like, ‘If it’s good enough for Vogue, it’s good enough for everybody.’" [Source]

Telling a model to undergo Texas plastic surgery is one thing. “Suggesting” that she have a mole, a beauty mark that doesn’t really do any harm or impair Cindy’s faculties, removed just because it might be detrimental to her career is just plain mean.

 

Countless red carpets of awards ceremonies, like the one at the Oscars last Monday, have come and go, and the fact that celebrities go all out in looking their best remains. But none or very little of that glamour you see on the red carpet can be seen in paparazzi shots of these stars.

Thanks to the paparazzi, we do know that when they’re not wearing makeup and out shopping, jogging or taking their dog out for a dump, they look just like us, you know, plain people.

Some even look far worse, with twenty- or thirtysomethings like Lindsay Lohan and Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas looking like 60-year old hags. They better get some of that Botox Schenectady plastic surgeons are offering, or wherever it is they want to fix their faces. Their looks are their meal ticket, so they better do something about it.

 

If that headline had any truth in it, I shudder to think what less hot pornstars would look like.

I mean, here’s someone who obviously needs plastic surgery in Washington DC or wherever it is she lives, because she seems to be getting uglier by the day. And she could only get uglier when current boyfriend and Octagon fighter Tito Ortiz turns out to love beating up women.

And you know what could make things even worse? That Jenna, in all depravity, would love to be at the receiving end of Tito’s punches, kick and chops, and even ask for seconds.

 

No, not that kind of love. It’s just that Cameron Diaz has been gushing lately about the plastic surgeon that did her and Jennifer Aniston’s nose jobs.

Who was this mystery man? None other than Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Raj Kanodia, the man behind Diaz and Aniston’s recent rhinoplasty surgeries.

While Diaz gushed to Aniston that her nose was “the nose my nose always wanted to be,” she also couldn’t help raving about Kanodia’s spiritual side and the impact it’s had on her life. [Source]

If they love him so much, they might as well marry him, so Jennifer can have her chin done, or Cameron can get some Botox injections, for free, or anytime they want to. They sure need it.

 

One person in Hollywood you shouldn’t take seriously when making pronouncements on rather trivial matters is George Clooney. Remember when he said he’ll try to date a different woman everyday just to throw the press off?

He’s one of the biggest practical jokers in the business, and I think his ‘revelation’ to his friend Julia Roberts in an Oprah Winfrey interview that he just had Blepharoplasty done is just another example of him misleading the press.

Clooney shared with Roberts: "I had my eyes done. Can you tell? I think it’s important to look awake."[Source]

Take a look at the images above, look him in the eyes, and you be the judge.

 

If there’s one Jersey girl who doesn’t really need a New Jersey face lift, it has to be American Idol finalist Antonella Barba. Who needs one when all eyes are on her barely clothed body in rather cheesy poses?

Should she be eliminated from American Idol tomorrow, this Jersey girl can always pursue a career in modeling for guy mags. She may not be that hot, but she is HOT nowadays, if you know what I mean. And that would sell a lot of magazines.

Check out more Antonella Barba pics.